The Mustache Incident

It was 6:45 in the morning, and Andy Biersack was up to no good.
He wouldn't even be up this early if it wasn't for Ashley, in the bunk next to his. Everyone else might have been able to sleep through his midnight guests and snoring, - C.C. could sleep through anything- but not Andy. It was driving him nuts.
So, at 6:30, he'd gotten up and went in the fridge for a quick beer- you could never start drinking too early of you were a bride, especially the only underage one- the sneaked quietly over to Ashley's bunk, sniggering.
Andy pulled back the curtain, revealing ash, who was facing up, still snoring. He yanked a sharpie from the pocket of his skinny jeans. It was a miracle it fit in there, really... He'd been planning this all summer, and the night's sleeplessness only made him more devious towards 'The Deviant.'
He bent down, drawing a large mustache on the bassist, bringing it over his lips and down to his jaw, the waiting a few minutes before retracing it- Ash wasn't gonna get this sucker off…
The sound of Andy laughing woke Jake, who rolled out of his bunk, only slightly scared of what he would see. You never knew with these four.
"Andy…?" the boy heard around his shoulder, then a laugh." Oh, you- you're gonna get it this time. He'll kill you, man."
"You wake him up, he'll kill us both. And he won't know."
"I think he will… I'm going back to sleep- I was never here…" he crawled back in his bunk, pulling the curtain.
Andy put the finishing touches on his masterpiece and laughed quietly one last time, walking into the kitchen to throw out his empty beer bottle, and then back to his bunk, climbing in, finally able to sleep peacefully, knowing justice had been served. He felt like Batman! You know… if Batman was a glam rocker and used sharpies as weapons…
He wouldn't sleep long.
At 11:00 in the morning, Ashley Purdy rolled out of his bunk, and went in the bathroom to piss. He went over to the sink, washing his hands, and looked in the mirror, eyes wide and freaking out.
"ANDREW DENNIS BIERSACK!!" he roared, stomping to the bunks, a hissy fit in mind.
His yell had woken the rest of the band, and they stuck their heads out of the bunks, including Andy, who had already forgotten why he might be in trouble. Until Ashley came around the corner all mustachioed and angry.
Jake, Jinxx, and C.C. practically fell out of their bunks with laughter. It only got worse when Ashley grabbed Andy by the neck of his black tee shirt, and dragged him across the bus. (A special talent of Ashley's was giving people rug burn on their ass, As C.C. well knew. but let's not get into that…)
Ashley pinned the taller but scrawny Andy to the floor, and screamed, "PORTFOLIO, PORTFOLIO, PORTFOLIO, PORTFOLIO, PORTFOLIO!" At the top of his lungs. He felt Andy tense under him, and the singers shockingly blue eyes flashed with anger.
"Shut the fuck up, Ashley!" he yelled as Ashley repeated, "PORTFOLIO, PORTFOLIO, PORTFOLIO!!"
Jinxx could hear the yelling from his bunk, and looked at the others." Come on, let's go watch." He suggested as if it were their favorite pastime. Jake and Jinxx got out of their bunks, but stopped C.C. "Get dressed first, man- we can't watch if were blind." Jake said, and C.C. laughed, but pulled on some sweats before they went out, sitting on the couch and watching their band members on the floor, Andy red faced and swearing, and Ashley repeatedly shouting, "PORTFOLIO!"
Ash stopped and looked down at Andy. He sure was a squirmy one...
C.C. laughed, and then went into hysterics as Ashley looked up, angry, with that mustache.
"You realize that you can't ever let him up now, right? He'll kick your ass." Jinxx stated.
Andy may have been skinnier and less muscular then Ashley, but ash didn't doubt for a second that Andy could kick his ass- after all the bullying he'd been through as a kid? The guy knew how to throw a mean punch.
Ashley pushed Andy's hands behind his back, then sat on Andy's chest so he couldn't move.
"Get your wood outta my face, bitch! I'm gonna fuck you up when I get up..." he snarled in his very deep voice, making Ashley flinch. Andy kicked his long legs up, squirming, as Ashley reached over to the table, grabbed three studded belts off of it, and proceeded to tie the front man to the table's metal leg.
Ashley then stood and walked back to the bathroom to take a shower. Leaving Andy cursing and yelling threats. He glared over at the rest of the band, who just sat and stared at him. "Let me out." He growled.
Jinxx and C.C. immediately turned to Jake, who looked back with a look that said, 'WTF, traitors!'
"…Jake…" Andy growled.
"Why me?" Jake asked the guitarist and drummer.
"He won't maul you…I think." Jinxx answered.
"LET ME GO!" Andy yelled again.
"Well, even if I wouldn't get mauled, I'm not letting you out."
Andy made the same face Jake had just made. "WHAT?! Why?!"
"I'm NOT getting in the middle of this. And besides- we kind of need Ashley to play a show- he cant be in the hospital." They laughed, and Andy glared. "Let's go get some pizza, guys…" Jake said, walking over to the door.
"YES!!" C.C. yelled, and Jinxx replied, "You always want pizza. And you're always hungry."
Andy groaned loudly, "PLEASE!!" as they walked out.
Thirty minutes later, Ashley walked out, fully dressed, his mustache only a little lighter."... You're such a bitch Andy, it won't come off."
Andy grinned, stretching his 'gazelle legs' out, which were long enough to block the entire walkway. Ash glanced nervously down. "Andy, I'm warning you, you better not-"he said as he cautiously stepped over Andy's freakishly long legs, one of which snapped up, so Ashley had a cowboy boot in his crotch. "GOD!" Ashley yelled, hitting the ground, and Andy grinned, still kicking.
Ashley glared, leaving him as he walked off.
Andy sat. And sat. And…sat. And sat. 'Well,' he thought to himself. 'This sucks. On an off day, too…" one of the few days he didn't have to play a show, and here he was, tied to a table in the bus' kitchen.
An hour later, Matt Good, Andy's best friend, walked in, stopping at the door and staring at his friend all tied up.  
"Matt! Thank god, can you-"Matt walked over, a whiskey bottle in his hand, and set it down next to Andy like it was no big deal he was strapped to a table leg.
"Here's that whiskey you wanted- careful, man- that's some strong shit, right there."
"Matt, can you-"
"Well, I gotta go meet my band, they're-"he started walking out when Andy interrupted him, yelling, "You're best friend is tied to a table and you don't notice?!"
"Oh, I noticed."
"Well? Untie me!!"
"No way, man- your band ritual is your thing, and I get it, bro. later." He walked out.
"WAIT!! You don't under-"the door slammed, and Andy sighed, looking around for something to do. It was pretty boring just…whiskey…. He stretched out his hand towards it, straining against the belt. One more inch…. He grabbed the bottle, and took a huge gulp, then, looking around, spotted his cigarettes on the counter across the room. He groaned as he felt withdrawal coming on. God- he hadn't had a smoke since…this morning? No. last night. It only made it worse that they were only a few feet away.
Andy got drunk- there was nothing else to do! After a while, the withdrawal and the whiskey were driving him crazier than Ashley's snoring.
He eventually got so bored he started singing to himself- a dumb song he'd made up about Batman when he was five…
"Batman! Dun-nana, Batman! He wears a cape- and its black! And he wears boots-and they're black. And he wears the bat symbol- but its Yelllowwww…hey, I'm wearing b-blackk bootss…" he slurred. "I'M BATMAN!!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, and someone outside the bus yelled," Shut up, freak!" back, banging on the bus door.
"W-wee are t-the outcassts…" he slurred loudly.
"EMO!"
"DO YOU WANT YOUR ASS KICKED BY A GUY WHOS WEARING MASCARA?!" he boomed, but no one answered. "Hmph." He snorted, and kept singing the Batman song.
The rest of the brides came in later, and he was still singing, slurring very badly.
"Oh, my god, ash, he's gone nuts!" C.C. yelled.
"Calm down, he's drunk." Jake answered, picking up the empty whiskey bottle on the floor.
"OH, Hai, guys…. Fffff U Ashley!" he said cheerfully, sticking out his tongue and finally passing out.
Ashley grinned and pulled out a sharpie.
A while later, Ash untied him, and the four of them picked him up, taking him back to the bunks.
"Gahh… his legs are all over me!" C.C. whined, squirming out.
"He's really light for such a big guy." Jinxx said.
"He's just tall. I mean, look at how skinny he is." Jake said, picking up one of Andy's arms and letting it flop back down. "Out cold."
They glanced at his face and laughed, then went to bed. Ashley turned to C.C." hey, can we switch bunks?"
"…why?"
"I have a window..."
"Oookay!" C.C. crawled in ash's bunk, and ash in his.
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"Ugh…" Andy groaned as a splitting headache racked his brain. He cracked open one eye, wincing and quickly snapping the curtain to his window shut, blocking out the sun.
A few minutes later, he dragged himself out of bed to go to the bathroom, stopping when he passed the mirror.
"Ashley…" he growled, stomping back to the bunks, ripping open the curtain to Ashley's bunk, and grabbing the nearest throat.
C.C.'s eyes flew open. "A-Andy!?" he choked.
Andy's eyes widened as he looked down and saw what his friend wasn't wearing. "oh, god!" he yelled, waking everyone up, and turning around quickly. "Jeeze- you can't wear clothes to bed?! I'm scarred for life now! Why are you in there any- Ashley." He walked over to C.C's bunk, reaching in and grabbing the man by the shirt, pulling him out and letting him fall to the floor.
"What the-Andy? Andy?!" Andy glared down at him, and Ashley cracked up.
"Shut up, Bastard. Look at my face!" he pointed to the handlebar mustache, complete with curls and a goatee.
"You could work for the Heineken commercials." Ash said through giggles.
They heard the snap of a camera, and turned to see Jake standing there, phone in hand, grinning. They glared at him. "What?" he asked." I'm sending this to Andy's mom. Seriously. Look at each other."
They did, and burst out laughing. "It is pretty funny…" Andy said, and Ashley grinned.
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Later that night, they played their show and did meet and greets with their new staches', which the fans loved and made fun of teasingly.
Ashley glared over at Andy as he got another girls phone number- she thought the mustache was cute.
"Don't worry, ash." Andy grinned. "My revenge comes when you least expect it. Just wait."